Birthday Celebrations

Camden had his first friend birthday party ever this year. He surprised me with his request to have it be a dinosaur-themed party. I had fun with the decorations and food, especially the watermelon. 

He invited 12 kids and most of them ended up coming. It made for a crazy couple of hours.

I went the easy route with his cake and just stuck some of his toys on top. I was supposed to put "Jurassic Park" on it, but I forgot to include it (since I was scrambling to finish the cake before the guests arrived). With his birthday falling on a Sunday this year, he actually got a bit of a birthday weekend, with the party on Friday, a family party with cousins on Sunday, and his class celebrating it on Monday.

Tyler also got an extended birthday celebration this year. We had chosen to start our annual Lagoon camping trip on his birthday this year. So we let him open his presents and chose a restaurant for dinner the day before his birthday. He chose to go to Texas Roadhouse because he wanted to sit up on the saddle. I knew we would all be stuffed, so I asked him if we could do his cake later in the week after we returned from Lagoon and he was fine with that. He did get to enjoy some ice cream after dinner and the saddle.

Earlier that day, we also went to the Provo Rec Center pool. I let Tyler invite his best friend from school and we had a fun afternoon. The weather was a bit cool that day, so it wasn't very crowded.

Then on his birthday we headed out for 2 days at Lagoon. Alyssa opted to stay home again this year. It was probably a good idea since she was having back pain at the time, as well as a broken little toe.

 The first day at Lagoon was amazing. The lines were the shortest we had ever seen them, and the weather was perfect. We rode all of our favorites multiple times and had a lot of fun. The second day in the park turned out to be the most crowded we had ever seen Lagoon. It was one of those middle school graduation days in the park and it was awful. To make matters worse, the middle school kids were cutting in line all day, so the already long lines were taking 3 times as long as they should have. We were so fed up with it by noon, so we headed into the waterpark. The slide lines were short, so we took advantage of that at first. But less than an hour after opening, they closed down 2 of the slides and the main swimming pool...FOR OVER AN HOUR! So back out into the regular park we went. The lines were still annoyingly long, and we watched groups of 10, 20, and 30 teenagers walk up to people in front of us and join them in line. We decided it was time to go back to our trailer to eat and take a break. We were hoping they would all leave at 4 or 5 and that lines would be more reasonable. A lot of them did leave, but the lines never really got better. Needless to say, it was not our favorite day at Lagoon. We were fortunate to, at least, have had the previous day with super short lines. In years to come, we will make sure to never visit the park on a school day again. Not even sure why they open the park to the public on those days.

After we returned from Lagoon, we made Tyler his requested birthday cake. Well actually they were a cross between cupcakes and a cake. He wanted a snow cone cake and Alyssa found a video that showed us how to do it. They were kind of sad looking, but he was happy with them. And if we did not look too closely, they almost looked like real snow cones. 

We ended up splitting them in half and sharing 1 mini cake between 2 of us. 

End of year School Activities

The end of the school year is always so busy. Alyssa went to 2 different school dances. She was brave and asked a friend of hers to the Sweethearts dance in Feb. Not only was it the first dance she went to, but it was also her first date. And it was a girls choice so it ended up being really stressful for her. But she had a lot of fun once all the planning was done.

Shortly after Sweethearts was over, the prom invites started going around. She didn't think she would get asked and was worried about being able to find an inexpensive formal dress. All of her friends got asked to go before she did and some of them even told her that she was going to get asked to go, but she could not figure out who was left to ask her. The answer came late one night (well actually we didn't find it until the next morning)

We went dress shopping and she tried on about 30 different dresses, but none of them felt quite right. And then a neighbor offered to let her try on some of her daughter's dresses from past years. And that is where she found the perfect dress. She even got her ears pierced in preparation for prom. She looked amazing and had a really fun time. She said the best part about it was not having to be in charge of all of the planning. 

Ashley, as an eighth-grader, had the opportunity to try out for the school Shakespear play. She got a part in it and spent a whole semester of class time preparing for the play. It was "A Midsummer's Night Dream." She got to be a character that does a short play within the play where she plays the part of a lion. She loved being able to do a short scene of roaring and rolling around the ground like a lion. She did a good job in the play, and she was kind of sad when it was over. She has discovered that she actually enjoys being on stage.

I got to chaperone Ashley's field trip to Hill Airforce Base Museum.  I have never been there. The big military planes were so much fun to see. They had a scavenger hunt, and we were barely able to find all of the items on the list before we had to leave.  It was a fun way to be thorough in our exploration of the museum. We had a fun day together.

Camden had a donut day at school where I got to go and listen to him read for 30 minutes while we enjoyed a donut. We read one of the "Flat Stanley" books.

The boys had an end of year school fundraiser called the dragon dash. The fundraising comes from the merchandise they sell before the event. Then the parents come and watch their kids run for 30 minutes. One side of the rectangle had a lava field and they had to jump from rock to rock across it. the next side changed from dancing, to leapfrog, to walk backward, etc. It was hot, but the boys seemed to have fun.

I also helped with Camden's field day. He got to rotate through different activities like bowling, frisbee, golf, relay races, and obstacle courses. he had fun and I was glad I could spend that time with him, even if it was a little cold that day.

There was a superhero day close to the end of the year. We went with costumes we had so Camden dressed up as Luigi and Tyler dressed up as Marshall from Paw Patrol. Not exactly the normal spiderman and batman superheroes, but it worked.

There was also a grandparent's day and Gawbie and Grandpa were nice enough to attend. Basically, they ate lunch with the boys and then took them to the book fair and let them pick out a book.

Tyler finally had his first field trip a week before school got out. I got to go with him. It was to the Children's Museum at Thanksgiving Point. He mostly hung out with his best friend, Carter, and we tried our best not to lose the other 2 boys in our group.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of other things that happened at the end of the year, too, but these are the things for which I had pictures. The kids all had a good year of school. They loved their teachers and made new friends and were sad to have the year come to an end. 

Spring Sports

We had a busy spring with sports. Alyssa ran track for Lehi High School and really excelled this year breaking all of her personal records. Her events are 100M hurdles, 300M hurdles, long jump, and high jump. Her best events were the 100 M and long jump. We had fun cheering her on this season, especially at the qualifying meets that she was able to compete at.

Tyler, with encouragement from Alyssa, decided to try track and field out with the city rec program this spring. he got to learn the techniques at practice and then compete in 5 different meets. He learned that his favorite events that he can compete in at his age are the 4X100 M relay and the javelin throw. He had fun trying something new out.

Tyler also had a basketball season from January to March. He had fun playing, even though he wasn't the fastest and most skilled player. He made some new friends and got a little bit better.

Camden played soccer. He got a little better this season and was able to be aggressive and get in some good kicks. He even scored a couple of goals. 

Now we are at the start of the tennis season, but it is pretty relaxed throughout the summer. Things will get busy again in August when Alyssa really starts her tennis season and Camden starts up soccer again.

Beverly Allen Miner

    I know it has been a while since I have posted anything. The funny thing is that the last day I posted something was the day that life changed for me forever. That was the day that I found out that the days with my mom on earth were numbered. I have been riding the waves of grief while trying to still go on with normal life since that day. I'm going to attempt to put some of my thoughts and feelings about losing my mom into words, though nothing could ever really describe what it feels like for someone who has not experienced it themselves. I'm going to start from the beginning of her last battle with cancer (round 4, if you count chronic leukemia that she told us about maybe 10 years ago).

    One of my last posts covered our trip to visit mom and dad right before Christmas. We went on that trip because I had been feeling, for months, that we needed to go visit. I am so glad we went because things changed so quickly after that trip. Mom was happy and was the loving, wonderful grandma that she has been since taking on that title, including taking us to the arboretum to see the Christmas lights (when she could hardly walk the distance required to make it around the loop). That was the last time my kids, and Danny, saw her and we made some really good memories on that trip.

    A couple of weeks after we got home, Dad got onto our weekly family zoom call alone. He told us that Mom was in the hospital because she was feeling exhausted (more than normal). They found fluid surrounding her lungs but did not know where it was coming from. They drained it, ran some tests on it, and sent her home a few days later. The results of the tests did not come back until a couple of weeks later. Cancer cells in the fluid. Not only that, but the fluid was around her lungs and stomach. Stage 4. Grief is weird, the way it hits you at the most random times. It would hit me every time I would think of something she would not get to experience. At first, it was the more obvious things, like the family cruise we were supposed to take to celebrate her 80th birthday, her trip to Germany to see the passion plays, and our family reunion in July. Then it was more distant things like my kid's weddings, Camden's baptism, and her great-grandchildren that have not been born yet. My kids are all so young still with their whole lives in front of them and I worried that my boys would not even remember her.

    I spent the next 2 months trying to make the most of my time left with her. I called her, at least, once a week and tried to keep her mind off of the fact that she was dying. but as things progressed, I could see that my efforts were not working. Some days I would call, and she would be really happy and talkative and other days I would call and struggle to get her to talk at all. I later learned that those were the days that she was especially uncomfortable or down.

    My siblings and I decided that we would all go home to celebrate Mom's 81st birthday with her. It was Presidents' Day weekend (her birthday fell on Saturday, Feb. 19th). Christy found us an Airbnb in Sylmar and we all went. Mom had the fluid drained right before we arrived so that she would be able to eat and enjoy the weekend without being too uncomfortable. It worked well for the first couple of days I was there, but unfortunately, she was not feeling great on her birthday. We had to cancel the outing to her favorite restaurant and bring the food to the house instead. But she wasn't able to eat dinner or the 3 cheesecakes Marjorie made. I think she enjoyed having so many of us there, even though it was a bit crazy fitting 25 people in their house. It was good for all of us to be there together. On Sunday night, my siblings and parents escaped up to Mom and Dad's bedroom to talk about the future. Becky was concerned about Mom and Dad's mental state through the coming weeks and months. We had a good talk. It was especially comforting to know that Mom was not afraid of dying, just that she was worried about how much pain she will have to endure to get there. She was also worried about Dad, afterward.

    After the birthday weekend, Mom finally accepted that hospice care would need to start. They brought in a bed for downstairs and nurses, doctors and other medical assistants started making regular visits to the house. As kids, we also made a calendar to plan for someone to be at the house with them almost constantly. 

    Fortunately, when things got really bad for her she went quickly. I talked to her for the last time on my birthday (March 9th). I don't remember much about that last conversation, but I always tried to tell her what a great mom she was and how much I love her every time I talked to her in the end, so I'm sure I said something along that line to her. On Saturday, March 12th, Jeff let us know that Mom had started throwing up blood that morning and wasn't doing well. She had been throwing up regularly for months, but never with blood. I don't know too many details about the hour-to-hour happenings, but on Sunday night when we had her zoom call, we could all hear her moaning in the background. Dad looked pretty broken that night too. He suspected that she would not last much longer. I hardly slept that night. I was torn about flying out there to see her one last time or just letting it happen. There was no need to make a decision because Dad's call came in at 6 am, letting me know that she had just passed on. I was sad, but since I had been grieving for 2 months, it was almost a relief to know she wasn't suffering anymore. 

    We had a zoom call that night to discuss mom's funeral. It was scheduled for the following Monday, March 21st. We decided that each of us would contribute something and that it would include a lot of musical numbers. Steve and Jeff volunteered to do a piano and guitar solo each. Christy didn't want to do a talk but said that she could handle the life sketch. That left Becky, Marjorie, David, and me to do a 5-minute talk each. How does one sum up a life like Moms in 5 minutes? We all struggled with it, so we shared with each other our focus and the stories we would tell so that we could cover Mom's life between all of us.

    I flew in on Thursday night. I was thankful to have a couple of days with Dad, Jeff, Christy, and Becky to talk through some emotions and to hear firsthand from Jeff and Dad about the hours leading up to Mom's death. They told stories of things mom said that night to indicate that maybe she was seeing spirits from the other side. They also shared stories of how she continued to have her sense of humor up until the end. Jeff also knew exactly when to go wake up dad in the end. Dad told us of a very special moment he had with mom on Sunday morning while the others were at church where he gave her a blessing and told her that she did not need to prolong things for his sake. They told each other that they loved the other. I'm sure they said a lot more than that, too. 

    The funeral was really good. We kept it to an hour. There were a lot of people there. The chapel was full. Neighbors and friends and family came. After the funeral, we had a caravan up to the cemetery (Glen Haven - up Kagel Canyon) for the graveside dedication. And then back to the church for a luncheon. We visited with family, including cousins, aunts, and uncles that we hadn't seen in years. We also visited with ward members and friends. And then we all went our separate ways. 

    There have been moments in the last 3 months where I have had the strong desire to talk to Mom and then it hits me that I can't. I hate it, but then life just goes on. Mostly I worry about Dad, being on his own. We try to talk to him often and visit with him as much as possible, but it definitely is not the same as having Mom there.

    In closing, I just want to say a few things about Mom. She was the best. I was her baby and I always felt so loved growing. up. She used to take me to feed the ducks over at Hansen Dam. She attended thousands of plays at the conservatory to support me. She worked in my elementary school library and I remember going in there often during recess and lunch to visit her. She let me try out for cheerleading even though she really did not want me to be a cheerleader. She even came to watch me cheer at some of the football games. She taught me how to sew, play the piano, cook, garden, love music, love reading, and value daily exercise. She also loved to travel and inspired me to see more of the world. She accepted Danny into our family and always treated him like one of her own. She loved my kids and spoiled them whenever possible. She sent them birthday cards and gifts, holiday packages (every Valentine's Day, Easter, and Halloween), and bought them special prizes whenever we were visiting them, or they were visiting us. She loved our biannual family reunions and made sure that everyone knew how important it was for them to be there. The reunions always included grandma's bingo with hand-picked prizes for each grandchild. She lived a life of service, first to her family, and second to the ward and neighbors. She is greatly missed, and I hope that I can continue with her legacy of love.

I love you, Mom!